Being in a band, should it really be this difficult?

[andy474x]

Post-rehearsal frustrations. I need to know what some others have to say about their experiences in local bands, I'm just feeling very fed up with my current situation. They're good friends of mine, otherwise I would probably already be long gone.

Is it common to have a drummer who literally has no consideration for the size of the venue or the environment of the gig? I'm talking have to have no less than a 50 watt and 2x12, and preferably a 4x12, this guy plays so d@mn loud. I feel that we are just making ears bleed whilst our drummer gets off on the thrill of his own sheer power. Our vocalist strains to be heard, which should be the PA's job, but it can take his voice to unpleasant places, he falls into a scream routine that's getting old as well. We've now gotten to a point where for the last few months we can hardly get booked, I think we've gotten a reputation around town for not being bar-friendly.

We've also been trying to put together music for a 5-ish song EP, which for us means ideally writing 8-10 songs. I'm the only one in the group with any recording equipment, so I put new material in our band dropbox and it just sits there, no one comes up with material to add to it, or their own new stuff. During all of 2016 we've gotten about 2 full songs done. Yet we're doing other nonsensical things like shooting a music video for a song that's 4 years old and half the band didn't record, or playing flat out crap gigs, "just to play."

I try not to be a stuck up prick, but I feel very strongly that this band is just spinning tires. On the other hand, I don't know what to expect "out there" with other bands. The ones I've seen live and enjoyed have a much better sense of making their music enjoyable vs. just loud because loud is cool, but their lineups are pretty solidified, so I can't just walk into something like that. But I get into looking around, anyone wanting to start a band wants to play things like "thrashcore, sludge, grunge, post-hardcore, doom" or insert any one of a hundred supposed types of music that no one wants to hear. Are there any decent musicians out there, or is it just a total crap shoot?

 

[Ovibos]

I played with a drummer for years who insisted on rimshotting every single damn snare hit. Like a gunshot going off. His sticks looked like they were beaver snacks, until they snapped.

Played barefoot so hard he gave himself plantar fascitis and couldn't walk anymore (or play shows...)

He once brought a crappy acoustic guitar to a show just so he could smash it at the end of our show. The rest of us picked up the pieces so as not to leave the mess for the people who worked in the club. We pretty much fired him that night.

BUT he owned our rehearsal space so things got messy...

 

[Dusty Chalk]

Absolutely there are more considerate musicians out there. My friend plays with a variety of drummers, and none of them (the drummers) feel the need to amplify at all. They still have adjust their volume to the drummer, since he can only get so soft, but they don't blame him for that. My friend says, "there's no volume control on the drummer".

I imagine you play rock, hard rock, or metal, neh? In your case, there is a volume control. The best solution is to have someone else "do sound" -- they'll make it so that the relative volumes are balanced. But you still have to figure out a way to control sound bleed.

You should maybe get those sound blockers for the drummer.

Good luck.

 

[László]

Yes, there are decent musicians out there who are awesome, but I'll also say that most weekend warriors aren't quite at that level. Not because they don't have talent, but because doing what's necessary to be great isn't that much of a priority compared with living the rest of their lives.

A great band entails sacrifice and dedication, plus give and take between band members. Musicians who are truly skilled, understand dynamics, and are generous to play with - you know what I mean, a joy to play with - are rare indeed.

 

[solacematt]

Depends on your scene and how things are really. The south Florida scene where I am is kind of terrible to be honest. It's mainly all indie hipster stuff and those people who play and like that music talk a lot of crap about the rock and hard rock bands around, which are very few and far between to begin with :/ Definitely get a sound person, or have the venue's sound person take charge and say hey, do what I tell you and you'll sound good and hope that everyone listens.

 

[coyote]

I'm a drummer. That is my first musical training, and it paid the bills for me for a decade.
Early in my career, I did a recording session. My training had been with jazz guys, but the engineer on this session demanded heavy playing and indeed, every snare hit had to rimshot. What I soon learned is that every band, indeed every segment of every song, might call for a particular and different way of playing.
If you are not earning money, you kinda have to live with what you have. But if you are a working band, I guarantee you'd be able to find a professional drummer who can play to the music rather than his ego.

 

[watelessness]

Bail.

Your expectations are clearly not aligned with those of your business partners, so either you must change your expectations or bail. I surmise the latter is the only option you have.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

My advise is to stay with the band but start "slutting" it up with another one. Do something different but don't waste all the effort you put into this one. Build your "brand" and put this one on the back-burner for a bit if you're getting burned out, it may make you start enjoying playing with those guys again.

 

[Dusty Chalk]

Or you could suggest the singer get those isolating in-ear monitors.

 

[dmatthews]

My suggestion (not unlike Sergio) is to remain for a while, but I think you need to start your own band instead of looking to fit into another.
That way you get to pick your music, the drummer, and other players that fit in. It's hard work at first, but often can be more satisfying.

 

[gush]

Weekend warrior bands are tough to deal with.

I'm not happy with mine. We all four have different tastes and picking material is impossible. Our drummer plays way too fast and our singer can't count.

I recorded an entire show and made copies for everyone. I decided not to mention anything and just let the guys listen to it and see what came out of it. Drummer says , I'm playing really fast. Cool.

We still have minor turmoil in our band but I am having some fun. If the band broke up tomorrow I wouldn't be upset.

It's always something. Bands are a struggle.

 

[IKnowALittle]

OK. Ignore my previous advice. F@ck it. It was very precocious.
This is my new advice.
Join "The Schmengies."
DeathCore Polka, can't be beat.

 

[gush]

OK. Ignore my previous advice. F@ck it. It was very precocious.
This is my new advice.
Join "The Schmengies."
DeathCore Polka, can't be beat.

I actually liked your post

 

[toothace]

At this point I think I'd settle for just being in a band... it'd be my first

 

[coyote]

At this point I think I'd settle for just being in a band... it'd be my first

For whatever problems might occur, the collaborative endeavor of making music is one of the most rewarding things a person can do.

 

[Korina Jack]

Bail.

Your expectations are clearly not aligned with those of your business partners, so either you must change your expectations or bail. I surmise the latter is the only option you have.

I agree with you!

 

[shinksma]

Most of this was mentioned by others, but my approach would be:

Regarding drums (potentially the easy problem to address):

Ask the venues for feedback on performances. Maybe, just maybe, they all like the ear-crushing drums. In which case, you have to up the ante elsewhere, maybe get your drummer one of those transparent wall isolation systems, and also mike the drums to add to the PA (so it stays loud for the crowd, but not you - assuming PA is beside/in front of you and not at the back of the stage...)

If the venues say that the drums are a little loud, find out if there is something else that could be tweaked too, and have a band meeting to discuss this feedback. A transparent wall isolation system might keep the drums in check but allow your drummer to still bash away at full strength.

Regarding recording and input from bandmates (the harder problem):

Find other folks that can write and want to collaborate, and work a little with them. Mention this to the band. If they don't take the bait and start helping out, then Eject Eject Eject - this isn't the vehicle for you.

I've been in garage/basement bands for decades, and I never wrote an original song per se, although we had great instrumental jams that probably could have led somewhere. I have now been in a "real weekend-warrior" band for about 4 or 5 years now. Two of the others have been writing for years and years, and as mentioned I wasn't a writer and i was OK with that - I could help with music but words escaped me. Until last year. On our recent album we each contributed 6, 4, and 4 songs (plus 2 public domain trad medleys). The next album is already being written, I suppose, because we each now have at least 4 songs in deep development, and another member wrote a song.

The song-writing bug is contagious, so maybe you can spread it to your bandmates, or maybe they just don't want that, in which case you probably need to go find other songwriters or contributors.

Third option, which might solve both issues at once: fire the drummer, and hire one that writes! Neil Peart isn't the only one out there... Then, treat the rest of the band as hired guns.

 

[CVS]

My advise is to stay with the band but start "slutting" it up with another one. Do something different but don't waste all the effort you put into this one. Build your "brand" and put this one on the back-burner for a bit if you're getting burned out, it may make you start enjoying playing with those guys again.

I have recently done this myself & it has worked out well for the most part - a good idea.

 

[Boogie]

Being a weekend warrior is sometimes the only outlet if you want to remain involved in music. Not many alternatives around here. But that also means that you will run into other pros that have similar expectations. Set out to find them. Then, even if you have one or two sub-par players, you can weather the storm until the problem works itself out...they always do. Anymore, I'm a total whore that plays any kind of music, anywhere, and as long as I'm playing with good people, that's all that matters. Yes, I'd like to build a fan base and a venue base, but sometimes you just do it for the music.

Find a group where you are the sub-par musician. That's when the fun begins!

 

[BMiller]

It's funny, I auditioned for an "80's Synth-Pop" band a few days after you posted this. I auditioned for two reasons - the first being that one of the keyboard players is a friend of mine and the second being that I just wanted to play with some people. Now, 80's Synth Pop was never something that I would ever think that I would get into as a guitarist (even though I grew up listening to all of this music - Tears For Fears, Flock Of Seagulls, Depeche Mode, etc...).

Anyways, so I went to the audition and played with some of the best musicians that I have ever played with. Certainly the best band that I have ever played with. Everyone was on the same page, in the groove, and had fun while playing. No drama and a lot of communication. These guys are out there, but in my case, it was waiting for the right time and right place. Somehow, my buddy and I found ourselves playing with 4 very credentialed musicians (two of which make a living off of it)....and all off of a Craigslist ad apparently.

Stay strong, be open minded towards new opportunities, and good luck!