An epiphany.....

[Aahzz]

Been thinking for the last few days, as I was kinda looking for a band again, and still kinda putting together a solo acoustic thing, and wondering why I'm not making more progress, when I realized - I don't really want to gig. It's a pain. It's OK to just play for my own enjoyment.

Now I have to figure where to go from here. There may be a purge, because I generally buy stuff with backup purposes in mind for gigging, and if I'm not into gigging, I may sell some stuff and consolidate with something higher end, just for me. We'll see...

 

[jxe]

gigger please.

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Happy hunting.

Do I need to remind you of Sergio’s wise words?!

 

[JasonE]

Been thinking for the last few days, as I was kinda looking for a band again, and still kinda putting together a solo acoustic thing, and wondering why I'm not making more progress, when I realized - I don't really want to gig. It's a pain. It's OK to just play for my own enjoyment.

Now I have to figure where to go from here. There may be a purge, because I generally buy stuff with backup purposes in mind for gigging, and if I'm not into gigging, I may sell some stuff and consolidate with something higher end, just for me. We'll see...

Man I feel you on this one. I am in a similar spot. However, I am here after many years of gigging and being the guy that usually ends up doing everything in the band. I seem to always be the guy building the set lists, booking the gigs, paying everyone, providing and running the PA on top of learning all the material myself and knowing my parts and being prepared. I am just wore out after years and years of this. I hate having a day job and working daytime hours during the week and then flipping to a night job on Friday and Saturday. I have done Thursday gigs as well and had to drag my tired butt through work on Friday to repeat it again Friday night. Those weeks take a lot out of you.

However, I still like to play. I am trying to get myself doing more with recording some things. That has been fun when I do it. I would love to find a group of guys that can play that just want to get together and jam a few times a month. That would go a long way with me.

Don't give up yet. Just about the time you do, something may pop up. Keep asking yourself what is the enjoyable part of all of this for you. Unfortunately for me, playing in a band for people to enjoy is a big part of it for me. I am trying to work past that. I still get the occasional call to find out if I might be interested in a band that is looking for a lead player. I just had one of those calls this past weekend. Something interesting may pop up at any time. I could be talked back into doing it in the right situation. Don't get hung up on finding the right situation. It may show up if you are not hunting so hard. Also, try a jam with others if it sounds like it may turn into something. You have nothing to lose.

I would also dig deep and figure out what about gigging you don't like. That may also help find something that works for you.

 

[RickP]

I think many may be wondering about this these days. Events and gig locations in my region have not really recovered from the pandemic shutdowns. Many sites sold out or closed. I still do pickup things with friends, but haven’t been regularly gigging since 2020. For whatever reason, the layoff hasn’t bothered me like a similar one would have in the past.

I own a complete PA, drum kit, keyboard, mass of mics/stands/cabling, etc… besides a silly-big amount of guitar gear. I thought about the purge, but I’m not really sure I won’t end up gigging again. So I think I’ll just let it hang out, use it when I want, and ponder the future for a bit before taking the “divestment plunge.”

Perhaps the stage absence is less bothering because I have everything here to start up again tomorrow if the mood strikes. That‘s my story, and I’m sticking to it. For now.

 

[Moondog Wily]

I have told several friends that I don't want gigs like what they have! Basically solo performers at restaurants and bars!! If I am not playing in a situation where the people are there to see the music, I am not playing!!! I know it is alouf to not spend your time in the trenches and expect anything to happen, but I don't expect anything to happen, so why play in the trenches!!!!

Best of luck to you Aahzz! Maybe start doing live streams of your solo thing!!

 

[veinbuster]

I was thinking I might just play Sunday mornings on my front ‘patio’. I had done it for a while when there was a big spruce to hide behind. It was kind of fun to see people looking for where the sound was coming from. It’s much harder to hide behind my oregano.

 

[Jo-]

Sure, it's ok to play purely for your own enjoyment. I absolutely hate gigging, but I love playing, jamming with friends etc. And to be able to do that with some really nice gear makes it even better.

 

[Lola]

Never say no. I honestly am getting tired of everything being involved with a band. I did everything for this band. I found the ppl, place after place(pandemic did in a lot of downtown Toronto studios). The biggest one in Toronto, The Rehearsal Factory closed their doors and sold the buildings. It took me weeks of hunting for a studio. Trying to combine this with everything else that’s going on in my life is so damned hectic. I barely have anytime to myself. My life is so crazy right now. The only downtime I have is when I sleep. I sort of don’t really want to throw in the towel yet. I do love playing in a band and when I see ppl enjoying themselves I regret having these thoughts. I am not getting any younger and lugging my gear around is getting tiring. But I have a dream so I can’t give up just yet. I have put in too much time and effort in all things music in my life.

 

[Deleted member 5962]

Been thinking for the last few days, as I was kinda looking for a band again, and still kinda putting together a solo acoustic thing, and wondering why I'm not making more progress, when I realized - I don't really want to gig. It's a pain. It's OK to just play for my own enjoyment.

Now I have to figure where to go from here. There may be a purge, because I generally buy stuff with backup purposes in mind for gigging, and if I'm not into gigging, I may sell some stuff and consolidate with something higher end, just for me. We'll see...

I get that the whole "band thing" is tough to pull off and be happy, but I was really hoping you'd get the solo thing going and dig it. But all that matters is IF you're sure you don't want too. There has to be a desire, and really a passion, to make any kind of gigging work. If you aren't into it, neither will the audience be.

Hopefully this is just a phase. But you can always change your mind later.

 

[gush]

Oh yeah baby.......I have always been the guy that owns, stores and hauls the gear. Books the shows, set up rehearsal you name it.......I don't miss that plus my last band had an asshat for a singer that got under my skin regularly.

I still want to gig but just not I am able. I live with a fair amount of discomfort and a 4 hour show till late hours just about kills me.

I THINK I have one more band in me but time will tell.

After all this time I'm FINALLY becoming happy with my tone........just in time to not play out!!!

Ugh

 

[Deleted member 5962]

Never say no. I honestly am getting tired of everything being involved with a band. I did everything for this band. I found the ppl, place after place(pandemic did in a lot of downtown Toronto studios). The biggest one in Toronto, The Rehearsal Factory closed their doors and sold the buildings. It took me weeks of hunting for a studio. Trying to combine this with everything else that’s going on in my life is so damned hectic. I barely have anytime to myself. My life is so crazy right now. The only downtime I have is when I sleep. I sort of don’t really want to throw in the towel yet. I do love playing in a band and when I see ppl enjoying themselves I regret having these thoughts. I am not getting any younger and lugging my gear around is getting tiring. But I have a dream so I can’t give up just yet. I have put in too much time and effort in all things music in my life.

For me, playing music I love, with people I love playing with, is one of the most fun things I've ever done in my life. As much of a part of my life as sports has always been, (I needed and CRAVED that competition and need to win) and as much fun as playing ball is, the competitiveness can take away some of the sheer joy. Playing music is just sheer joy. There's no "losing" or getting hurt and missing games, part of a season or whatever. If I found a band that I had as much fun playing with as the last one, I'd be in a band immediately. The groups I play with now are not like that though, as I'm not even remotely into the stuff we play.

 

[Lola]

plus my last band had an asshat for a singer that got under my skin regularly.

I am dealing with this now. She does things that just irk the hell out of me. I really wish I didn’t find this bit of a diva and let her join the band. She actually really pisses me off sometimes. She just might be the straw that broke the camel’s back. As a matter of fact I am looking to put together another project with some new fresh faces. I have some contacts already and plus there are other ppl that I have connected with over the years. Maybe it’s time for something new.

I find it very difficult at times to get the right ppl. The chemistry just has to be right among everyone concerned or it just won’t work. I think that is one aspect that is tough to deal with a times.

I really love busking. I did it for the summer in Toronto. It was fun, I met some ppl and made some new contacts and made some money in the process. It’s just hopping on the train with all my gear on a modified luggage rack and my guitar on my back. It’s a real PITA.

Time will tell though.

 

[JasonE]

I am dealing with this now. She does things that just irk the hell out of me. I really wish I didn’t find this bit of a diva and let her join the band. She actually really pisses me off sometimes. She just might be the straw that broke the camel’s back. As a matter of fact I am looking to put together another project with some new fresh faces. I have some contacts already and plus there are other ppl that I have connected with over the years. Maybe it’s time for something new.

I find it very difficult at times to get the right ppl. The chemistry just has to be right among everyone concerned or it just won’t work. I think that is one aspect that is tough to deal with a times.

I really love busking. I did it for the summer in Toronto. It was fun, I met some ppl and made some new contacts and made some money in the process. It’s just hopping on the train with all my gear on a modified luggage rack and my guitar on my back. It’s a real PITA.

Time will tell though.

This one hits close to home for me. I have had some real issues with singers in my bands over the years. The ones I have had the most issues with don't know how to play any instruments. They just don't seem to understand what all of the people playing instruments in the band go through to provide the music for them to read the lyrics to while they are singing.

The bands that have been the most fun for me are also the ones I have worked the hardest in. I won't tolerate drama in a band I am running. I have had many compliments from players over the years about how the bands I have run have been a lot of fun and no stress to be in. That is what it takes to be able to get good as a group. If someone is in the way of that, they have to go. The last band I was in had two good friends of mine in it. To my surprise, I didn't like them as bandmates. They were hard to work with. We can hang out and drink beer together but I don't think I would get back into a band with them again.

I am glad to see the replies in this thread. It really shows that this is something we all think about and have dealt with, and are still dealing with. For me the goal is to figure out what parts of gigging I really miss and find a way to get those things without all of the things I don't like. That is why my advice was to be patient. You never know when something will pop up that fits.

 

[László]

Been thinking for the last few days, as I was kinda looking for a band again, and still kinda putting together a solo acoustic thing, and wondering why I'm not making more progress, when I realized - I don't really want to gig. It's a pain. It's OK to just play for my own enjoyment.

Now I have to figure where to go from here. There may be a purge, because I generally buy stuff with backup purposes in mind for gigging, and if I'm not into gigging, I may sell some stuff and consolidate with something higher end, just for me. We'll see...

Today's epiphany is tomorrow's 'what on earth was I thinking'.
-- Platoschefman, 325 B.C.

"Wait, didn't Platoschefman write the classic philosophy book, Why You Should Never Decide Anything?"

"Yes, it was a classic until Immanuel Kant realized that if one decides not to decide anything, that in itself is a decision."

"I thought Kant was famous for 'I think, therefore I am what I am, and that's all that I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man."

"I believe that was Descartes."

"OK, but what's all that got to do with Aahzz' rationalization for selling his gear and blowing the proceeds on a few more expensive pieces?"

"I would have to make a decision to answer your question."

"You're making a decision if you decide not to answer my question."

"You're confusing me deliberately."

"You? Think about poor Aahzz, who has to decide whether to stop performing, then decide what to sell, decide what to buy, and decide whether he'll regret his decision later?"

 

[Lola]

My singer is very devious in her counter productive BS. She has made friends with everyone in the band and they really like her. Me being female she treats me differently and questions things I do. She doesn’t do any of the leg work and I am the one who put this band together. The guys just don’t see this because they have been blinded by her. She says particular stuff to me on our group chat and she tries desperately at times to make me look stupid. She is one of biggest thorns in my side. She blew my mind last time in that when we left she put her arms around the other guitar player and kissed him. WTF He’s married with children. She seems very chummy with him. And when I voice my opinions about the band not going in the direction as we previously discussed he just brushes it off and blames it on other things.

I told her many times that this is not my first rodeo.

Sometimes I just want to say FU$K IT. I am so frustrated.

I did a gig in the boonies a while ago and so many ppl came up to me and said that I was amazing. Ppl want to know my story of how I came to play guitar. They ask questions and I always at the helm ready to politely answer their questions. This keeps me coming back time after time no matter how badly things maybe going within the inner circles of my band.

Maybe I will just busk because I had a blast. I was busking in my own city in a public park. I started to do this on a regular basis and ppl were waiting for me to show up. This small group of ppl made me feel like a rock star. No better feeling to see ppl dancing and singing while you are playing period!!

 

[László]

Once a person's thinking becomes more complex than 'I'm hungry, feed me', or 'I need to find a bathroom', life begins to suck. This is why decisions should always be avoided.

-- Platoschefman, Why You Should Never Decide Anything, 325 B.C.

"Is that the entire teaching in the book?"

"Pretty much sums it up, yes. But it was revolutionary in its day. For example, after it was written, the ancient Greeks invented democracy. Since they knew it was best not to decide anything, they let everyone else decide by voting."

"That makes no sense since people voted on whether to do things, like pass laws, thereby requiring decisions."

"Well, the flip side is that it lets the individual off the hook. You can blame everyone else for all the bad stuff that happens."

 

[Lola]

I keep on asking myself why am I doing this? Why do I keep on doing this? My husband thinks I am nuts. He says you do everything for this band and all they do is give you grief. He can see it when I come home from rehearsal. My body language, facial expressions and my mood isn’t the greatest.

 

[László]

I told her many times that this is not my first rodeo.

When in a rodeo, always avoid falling into a pile of poop.
-- Confucius

 

[Mike J.]

I play at church about once every three weeks. That's plenty for me anymore. I played full time in my youth from 1970 through 1982 then played in a weekend band from 1994 through 1996. Yeah it was all fun, lot's of headaches but a lot of laughs too. Been there, done that. I enjoy the church thing but I also enjoy the space between weeks to do other things including coming up with my own musical idea's. Besides, at 69 years old with a glitchy back and knees my days of lugging a bands equiptment to and fro is a thing of the past. (That's one reason why I use a Pod Go at church. Makes it so much easier).

My neighbor across the street is a phenominal drummer who plays out quite often. He came over the other night and said he wants to get together with me to start working on some of the songs I have. I've played him bits here and there and he really likes what I'm doing. Now that is something I'd enjoy doing. No agenda, no big plan, just two friends engaged in a creative venture.