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dmatthews

Dave's not here...
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My beer gut is so big that it became rounded by its own gravity.
A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that is going to help." "Sure it will," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers..
 

Moondog Wily

Howlin' At The Moon!
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One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."

"For reading a book"? she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!!
 

dmatthews

Dave's not here...
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I go and away for a week and this thread is still going?

I flew from Chicago to Seattle and back this week. From the plane in the distance the horizon had a slight curve to it and could not see beyond it. I chalked it up to the airplane window creating the effect of a curved Earth, nyuk nyuk!
Sounds fisheye to me...
 

Clashcityrocker

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I go and away for a week and this thread is still going?

I flew from Chicago to Seattle and back this week. From the plane in the distance the horizon had a slight curve to it and could not see beyond it. I chalked it up to the airplane window creating the effect of a curved Earth, nyuk nyuk!
Hey why didn't it take significantly longer one way than the other? That rotating earth and all. Don't rack your brain thinking of an answer lol.
 

Clashcityrocker

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AP515

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Hey why didn't it take significantly longer one way than the other? That rotating earth and all. Don't rack your brain thinking of an answer lol.
Funny that you bring that up. Before Covid I traveled to Beijing a couple times a year. From North Carolina it's about a 16 hour flight. Sometimes across Alaska and Russia before dropping back down into Beijing. Sometimes straight over the North Pole and down into Mongolia and China. I'll tell you why later.

So why is it about the same time of flight whether one is coming or going? It isn't. By your logic it should take longer to fly back home because if the world is really turning, and since the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the earth would have to me turning from west to east (and it is). So it should take longer to fly back to North Carolina from west to east. But it is actually faster to travel home than to Beijing. The exact opposite of your logic. Why? The Jet Stream. Get up in those winds and they push the plane to the east. And now why do we sometimes go straight over the pole instead of Alaska? Same reason. If the Jet Stream is too strong it doesn't make sense to fly into that headwind. They fly over the pole to avoid the Jet Stream. On the way home they use the Jet Stream to push the plane all the way home. Uses less fuel.
 

Clashcityrocker

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Are you that guy who when people are having a meaningful discussion will keep asking people to solve the square root of 456? Please don't be that guy, I beg you.
 
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