I practiced for about an hour today. Afterward, my guitar started hocking me...
"You never take me anywhere."
"I got you to record with."
"But look at my top! I was made to be under the stage lights! You must not love me or think I''m beautiful."
"You're a wonderful guitar. You're beautiful, ok? But I got you for tone."
"Does this Artist case makes my lower bout look fat? That's why you won't take me out, isn't it? I could have had paisley, but I really don't think SC58s like me look good in paisley." (pouts) "Buy me a gig bag. Take me out. I'm sick of only being in this creepy studio. You take your wife out, but you never take me out."
"How about if I get you some nice bling to go with that gold hardware, baby?"
(she turns headstock away, and is silent for a moment) "What kind of bling?"
"Oh, I dunno...maybe a nice diamond truss rod cover..."
"That sounds....better," she sniffed. "But I still want to go out."
"OK, honey. We'll go out. As soon as the weather gets nice, why, we'll join a band, and spend some time together, just the two of us."
"You promised me that last year."
"I didn't have you last year."
"Oh. Maybe that nice Mr. Smith made me that promise when I was still pieces of wood."
"That's probably it, sweetie. Now, I'm going to put you in your case and say goodbye for today."
"Don't forget the bling," she said, "Or I'm going to drop a dime on your wife and tell her I didn't cost $800."
"You never take me anywhere."
"I got you to record with."
"But look at my top! I was made to be under the stage lights! You must not love me or think I''m beautiful."
"You're a wonderful guitar. You're beautiful, ok? But I got you for tone."
"Does this Artist case makes my lower bout look fat? That's why you won't take me out, isn't it? I could have had paisley, but I really don't think SC58s like me look good in paisley." (pouts) "Buy me a gig bag. Take me out. I'm sick of only being in this creepy studio. You take your wife out, but you never take me out."
"How about if I get you some nice bling to go with that gold hardware, baby?"
(she turns headstock away, and is silent for a moment) "What kind of bling?"
"Oh, I dunno...maybe a nice diamond truss rod cover..."
"That sounds....better," she sniffed. "But I still want to go out."
"OK, honey. We'll go out. As soon as the weather gets nice, why, we'll join a band, and spend some time together, just the two of us."
"You promised me that last year."
"I didn't have you last year."
"Oh. Maybe that nice Mr. Smith made me that promise when I was still pieces of wood."
"That's probably it, sweetie. Now, I'm going to put you in your case and say goodbye for today."
"Don't forget the bling," she said, "Or I'm going to drop a dime on your wife and tell her I didn't cost $800."
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