My father (RIP) took the cake when it came to truly terrible Dad Jokes. They were all eye-rollers - every single one, without exception.
In any given situation, the question wasn't
whether an impossibly bad Dad Joke would slip out of my father's brain and into the world, as though he couldn't control what came out of his mouth.
Nope, not a question.
It was a certainty. The only question was, "Which one will spring forth from the brain, given the circumstances?" Here's an example:
My mother [coming in from outdoors]:
"It's nice out!"
My father's immediate reply:
"Then I'll leave it out."
Me, after a sunburn::
"My face hurts."
My father:
"It's killing me."
Variation on a theme:
One of my brothers:
"It hurts when I do this."
My father:
"Then don't do that."
- Alternate joke in same situation -
My father:
"Bring me a hammer and put your hand on the table."
My brother:
"Why?"
My father:
"So you don't think about the other thing that hurts."
My mother:
"Why don't you ask my friend's daughter [insert name of daughter] out?"
My father:
"Oh, she's a real doll. A Yisgadol." (First word in Aramaic prayer for the dead).
Anyone:
"What day is it again?"
My father:
"It'll be Tuesday, all day."
Etc.
You have your own, no doubt. I think they should be preserved somewhere. Perhaps this thread is the place?
